Saturday, November 13, 2010

You bring restoration

Some weeks get to you
some days start one way, and take a drastic turn for the worse
some weeks take everything in you to simply make it through
and make no sense at all
this has been that week

I'll never again get to say "see you Monday" to a friend
She'll never make us Sweet tea at work again
She won't argue with us about the best way to make cinnamon toast again
and she'll never drag her pillow and bright pink blanket into my classroom to take her own nap during the kids naptime,
because she "freakin tired".

And nobody knows why

She's just simply not anymore
I think dealing with the death of a friend would be easier if I atleast knew how she died
Instead we're left with the fact that a 20 year old just died.
and so many unanswered questions

I know that she's with Jesus
that she's gazing upon His face
she's with the one she loved
She's with the one who loves her

It's still doesn't seem real
even walking by her casket it seemed like a horrible dream
one that i'll wake up from eventually
but I haven't yet
it's been a week and I still haven't woke up
I still haven't fell asleep without tears on my pillow
and I still haven't forgotten the God loves me and her more than I can imagine

Although my head screams "WHY!"
I know in my heart that there's a purpose
a plan
far beyond my understanding
and although that doesn't help the pain
it gives me hope
that Sadie's life was no in vain
nor was her death

I know that in time this mourning will turn into dancing
and my sadness will turn into joy

but until then
I'm taking hold of the One who does those things and taking life day by day
and praying that her family will come to know the One that Sadie lived her life for
and that I will live the rest of mine for