Wednesday, August 18, 2010

money....and healing



because of aforementioned reasons

i figured I should find out exactly what the total of my student loans is
and..... i almost had a heart attack
seriously

and then i start to question what the heck I was thinking going to college in the first place
now
I dont doubt that God called me to go
I know He did
but
at the same time
i'm not altogether sure my degree will be well used
i mean, you don't really need a degree to teach in the backwoods of some foreign country
or to stay at home with your own kids
(....although they are working on that....)
(...being able to teach them atleast...)
so i have to question my thought process in all of this debt growing
and i have to trust that He is not telling me to do something stupid and waste my time
particularly with my going to Liberty, and racking up 7,000 a semester
this gets me.....even though I miss the heck out of that place


and then
(because Holy Spirit is amazing)
I realize that
23 THOUSAND dollars (and that's not all......i told you I almost had a heart attack)
of the debt came from Liberty
anyways
all the money
was spent on me, forming a relationship with Heather
someone that I believe will be my friend for many many years
we are totally different
completely the opposite
she loves pink and heels and makeup and diamonds and all things princess
I prefer to be in pajamas or jeans with hardly any makeup and nothing princess
why me and Heather became friends is simply God
normally I stay far far away from the likes of her
but, we became inseparable
and still i dont get it
but....
she's why I went to Liberty
or one of the biggest parts
( I think)
because Heather has a sister
(well actually 3 but, anyways)
this sister, Megan
started getting headaches
so they had to take her to the doctor
and do a catscan (or something like that)
she had a tumor
on her brain
she was 14
they were going to have to do surgery
so heather asked me to pray
and so I told my family to pray
and I prayed
knowing God was able to heal
wondering if He would
then my dad called me
we were eating at Macados
and the waiter was trying to convince heather to sing with him at some wedding
(she tends to attract strange people like that)
and my wanted me to tell heather something
but it was way too loud for me to relay the message
so i just handed her the phone
and he told heather that if SHE prayed over her sister, aloud
then God would heal Megan
so Heather, being desperate, and knowing how I lived
knew that she had to do it
so Heather called Megan
prayed
and two days later Megan went to the doctor for the pre-surgery stuff
and when they took the brain-scan-thingys
the tumor
it was gone

just not there

gone

so, i say all that
because that ridiculous amount of money
was used
getting me to be friends with Heather
who prayed over Megan
who doesn't have a brain tumor
or a scar from some surgery

and in the end,
i'd work my whole life paying that debt off knowing that Megan knows how much God loves her
and Heather knows that God works.....and heals....and speaks

no amount of money can be too much for that

so maybe this debt isn't so ridiculous after all

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