Sunday, January 16, 2011 cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going...

I live in Kansas City now. That's new and exciting.
As well as completely random and not something I had previously planned on.

But I guess that's why I'm not the planner.

As I began to think about this move, and what it means to my life,
it caused me to think about just that....
My life...

I can remember hearing stories of missionaries when I was little

and even having a great aunt that had an orphanage, in essence, in Columbia.
I always told God that I wanted to be just like that
Please let me go
I begged
and responded to every single missionary alter call there was
and in my head, by the age I am now
I was long gone
on some mission field
in another country
with a plethora of children
of varying colors

I didn't intend on going to real college

I didn't intend on transferring colleges 3 times and still not having a degree
I didn't plan on realizing that God loved me
everything about me
I didn't plan on ever hearing about IHOP
or The Ramp
or losing my heart to numerous 1 year olds

I never intended on being the one light to an autistic little girl

or teaching her how to pray in tongues
albeit incidentally
or crying because I don't get to see her everyday

I never intended on being the best friend of someone that won beauty pageants

or being a voice that shows her that God still heals
and removes brain tumors
because He loves

or living in the midwest
the east...maybe
Missouri....uh no

and yet, I find myself here
sitting in my house in Kansas City
2 minutes from a 24/7 prayer room
where any moment of the day people are loving on Jesus

this isn't part of my plan

but it's part of His
and He's proved time and time again He's faithful and trustworthy
so I trust Him
I mean, who doesn't trust a guy who gives you 2 job offers in a week in this economy?!?....

Sometime I sit and think about my life
and how flighty is seems
and every time I start to question it's randomness
I'm reminded of Jesus
in John 3
where He's chatting with Nicodemus and in the middle of talking about being
born again he throws in this:

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

if there ever was a verse to sum my life up...

this is it

it's getting increasingly hard to explain to friends and relatives
why I don't finish college

or stay in one place
or get a "real" job
the only words I have are

"it's what the Lord told me to do"

and through all the awkwardness of explaining that to man
I'll stand and say that proudly on the day I stand before an Almighty God

because in the end

all He wants is for me to love Him enough to obey His every word

and in the end

that's all I want too


  1. You're living in KC now? I saw on facebook that you had moved and wondered where to. But I never asked, which was silly. Is Becca still in KC? That's so cool! I found your blog through your twitter link. I have a blog to at if you ever want to check it out! :)

  2. Yes I am! I love it, yes we are all 3 here now. Well Becca travels with the Prayer Strike Force teams, but her house is here in KC lol. She currently in DC for a month. I'll definitely check it out!